Sports trends we hope go away in 2021

Fans at times have an inflated sense of self-importance; it is equal parts sad and funny. You know, the people who refer to the team as "we" and so on. That said, sports without fans, or with minuscule crowds in attendance, are awful. The sight of players giving it their all in cavernous, empty arenas or stadiums designed to hold the population of small cities is jarring and unpleasant, and most of all, a sign that things haven't yet returned to normal. The least 2021 could do is bring an end to this bizarre, uncomfortable sight. 

Advanced statistical analysis has been a part of baseball broadcasts for some time, and it is also working its way into mainstream NBA discourse. Football has experienced this as well, with sites like Pro Football Focus and Next Gen Stats explaining the game in a new and different way. One area where analytics has caused a paradigm shift is on in-game coaching decisions; whether to go for it on fourth down or not, whether to kick a field goal, punt, or go for it, and so on. That's fine and smart, and useful, but what isn't? Analysts who still say, "well, it's just my gut, but I'd still do [the mathematically unsupported thing] here." They can keep doing that, I guess, but when they're proven wrong, there should be a loud "shame horn" that plays on the broadcast, and in their headsets. 

I already knew I didn't care what the Mike Krzyzewskis, Dabo Swinneys, and Nick Sabans of the world thought about current events, even ones that were affecting their jobs and teams. That feeling was driven home to an extreme degree in 2020, as Swinney accused Florida State of ducking Clemson and using COVID-19 as an excuse, and Krzyzewski wondered aloud whether or not basketball should continue with pandemic numbers rising. Krzyzewski's opinion was certainly more eloquent and science-based than Swinney's, but it's hard not to wonder if his opinion was colored by the fact that his Blue Devils had just dropped to 2-2 on the season. 

This guy again? Meyer has been out of college football for a few seasons now and has seemingly settled into a studio analyst job with FOX, but as usual, the rumor mill has started to churn about one of the sport's most famous - and fickle - coaches. Apparently, NFL teams are now sniffing around Meyer, and while his demeanor and personality seem better-suited to the pro game than some other famous college coaches, his overall demeanor and personality makes the fact that he could continue to cash in extremely off-putting.

Another in a host of COVID-centric trends that we all hope are "one and done," COVID lists were an awful sign of the times in 2020. Seeing your favorite players on the injury report is bad enough, but seeing them sidelined because they were "high-risk close contacts" with someone who tested positive for the virus is frustrating, because while it is the obvious, medically sound decision, and the responsible way to act, it is also a massive disappointment, and threw many games into disarray across all sports this year, none more so than Pittsburgh and Baltimore's Wednesday afternoon "classic," on December 2nd. 

I know, I know. Last year I was the guy telling you that you should stop complaining about this. And that the NBA, while it was trying to curtail the practice of resting star players, should probably chill a little bit. After seeing some teams already resting players just a few games into the new season, I've had enough. Perhaps I'll change my mind, but right now the practice seems kind of farcical. At the very least, the NBA ought to encourage teams to come up with fake injuries to make the whole thing seem less silly. There are plenty of calf strains and tendinitis diagnoses to go around. Maybe throw in a "sore elbow" every now and then, just to keep things interesting. 

Are we still going to keep doing this? As things stand, the designated hitter will not be in the National League in 2021, despite being used universally during the pandemic-shortened 2020 season. That could change based on whether or not the players and owners come to some sort of other agreement this winter, and hopefully, it does. Pitchers hit a cumulative .128 in 2019, with a .322 OPS. I don't care about strategy or the perceived sanctity of the game, I care about players who don't belong in the batter's box staying out of it from now on. 

College athletes are still fighting the battle to be able to use their names and likenesses for their own financial game, and with every passing year, more and more support comes to their side of the issue - sometimes even from the highly-paid coaches who reap the benefits of the current system. The Supreme Court agreed to hear a case brought by former West Virginia football player Shawne Alston, one that could have wide-reaching effects on the world of college sports. There is a very real chance that the landscape could be changing forever in 2021.

Hey! Did you know that the Dallas Cowboys are a very bad football team? You probably did. Most people do. Just not the people who decide which teams get talked about frequently on sports television. The Cowboys still dominate plenty of the conversation, and while there is doubtless plenty of interest in "America's Team," it's irksome to see them suck as much oxygen from the daily discourse as is possible. Memo to sports television producers: There are other teams to talk about, and other interesting stories to discuss. Thanks!

I'm not sure what the exact fines are for NFL uniform code violations, and I don't want to know. The idea of finding out that a player got fined $5,000 because their socks weren't the right length, or because they wore non-conforming shoes, or because they committed some other irrelevant fashion faux pas is making me mad just thinking about it, and while I know that the money goes to a good cause, my anger at the fact that these fines are handed out at all outstrips any altruism that they facilitate. Let these guys have some fun with what they wear without worrying about having to open up their wallets to do so!

Will this be the year that the Chiefs' offensive coordinator, who has been lauded by both Patrick Mahomes and Andy Reid, finally gets a head-coaching job somewhere? Bieniemy has been a name on the rise for some time, but he hasn't scored the big job yet. Given his work with Mahomes, you'd think that teams - especially those with young quarterbacks - would be lining up to secure his services. Instead, you get Mike McCarthy in Dallas, and Urban Meyer rumors. Bieniemy to Houston? I'd sign up for that, even though Bill O'Brien did strip the franchise down to the studs around Deshaun Watson. 

I'm on the record as liking instant replay, in principle, and (usually) in practice. While it is gratifying to know that incorrect calls are often fixed, there are still too many instances where they are not. Worse than that, however, is the fact that replay reviews have slowed games across all sports to a total crawl, and sometimes still fail to deliver a coherent, clear ruling. Either streamline and clean up the process considerably or get rid of it altogether. I'd prefer the former, but at this point, I'll deal with the latter. 

There was a lot of trying hard here, again, and while I respect that teams occasionally tried to make their cut-outs fun, or meaningful in some sort of emotionally significant way, the presence of a few hundred cutouts in otherwise empty stands merely served to reinforce the fact that, no, everything was not normal, and exacerbate the surreal nature of games continuing with no live audience. Looking at empty seats isn't fun, but unless every cutout is going to be something that makes me laugh, let's just agree to go without. Actually, let's just hope that in 2021, cardboard can give way to the real thing. 

Something caught my eye not long ago; a few angry NBA fans on Twitter pointed out that ESPN's most prominent highlights for a Bucks-Warriors Christmas Day game were Steph Curry three-pointers and other assorted Warriors plays. There was just one problem: Golden State lost by 39 points, and the Bucks' Khris Middleton had a huge game. The NBA is built on its star power more than any other league, so it makes sense that coverage would reflect that, but taking it to such extremes is unnecessary.

When did sports analysis become so...boring? This doesn't apply across the board. There are still plenty of analysts doing entertaining, incisive work, and many former athletes have made the jump to the dark side - the media - in recent years, with often excellent results. That said because there are more ways to measure performance than ever before, the math-based algorithms that have helped many understand games and decision-making better are overwhelming the discourse. At their core, sports are supposed to be fun, and so is talking about them. If your breakdown requires a Master's in statistics or has a chart so complicated that it requires three paragraphs of explanation just to start reading it, you're doing it wrong.

A close cousin of joyless, bloodless analysis is a new, enervating trend in NFL opinion-making; quarterbacks are all that matters, and anyone else who suggests otherwise is a rube. At least, that's the vibe that comes across when a running back is mentioned in the MVP discussion, or a wide receiver's greatness is spoken about without giving proper credit to the quarterback. Defense is a different story, thankfully, but someone should probably point out that it's okay to recognize a running back, wide receiver, or tight end for doing something cool, without rushing to celebrate the guy handing or throwing them the ball. I probably shouldn't have typed this out, though, because the quarterback zealots will come for me next. 

At the beginning of every college football season, you can all but pencil in Alabama, Clemson, Ohio State, and then a random team from the Big 12, or Notre Dame. Usually, that Big 12 team is Oklahoma. The whole thing is incredibly boring and played out, and 2020 was the nadir of the whole operation, with the Buckeyes getting a berth despite only playing six games, and the Big Ten altering its COVID rules to make sure the team could play in their semifinal game with a full squad. The whole thing was more than a little ridiculous, and most of the drama from the process is gone. Can we have something else, now?

Was your favorite player voted a Pro Bowler? Awesome; they aren't playing the game this year. They shouldn't play it ever again, as the game itself is rarely all that entertaining - 2020's is the rare exception - and many of the players don't want to participate, and definitely don't want to risk injury. The extent to which players care about the whole thing is completely tied to whether or not they have a contractual bonus attached to it. All-Pro nods are what really matters; the Pro Bowl is a simple popularity contest and has been for years.

I could not run a team social media account. You have to be clever without working "blue," you have to push the team's agenda without it seeming overt, and worst of all, you have to be online, and posting, all the time. It does not seem pleasant, particularly if the team you work for is bad, and you get nothing but vitriol. Still, the people that do the job are largely quite clever and do excellent work. That said, some are getting too cute, too clever with their work, and as with most things on the internet, some of it is starting to lose its luster. I am definitely an old man, and I am definitely telling these branding experts to get off my lawn, but my annoyance stands.

In European soccer, where fans in the stands are rarely shown because of the camera angle most frequently used, and where those same fans are known for making a constant hum of noise throughout games, piping in more of the same made sense. In American professional sports, the effect was not the same. It was strange watching games with oddly-timed reactions, in clearly empty stadiums. I'm sure that for some, it was a welcome alternative to silence, but the attempt was poorly executed, at best. 

This has been building within the sport for years, and 2020 was no exception, but baseball has become almost unwatchable for a variety of reasons, and a big one is that games feature fewer balls in play than ever before, as hitters are all trying to swing for the fences, and pitchers are all trying to elicit swings and misses. Each tendency is a force multiplier for the other, so that home runs and strikeouts, not to mention walks, feel like all that is left. Triples are fun, balls in play are fun, and dare I say it, action is fun, and the sport needs a whole lot more of it. 

Ah yes, another wonderful necessity created by COVID-19. The novelty of chuckling along as beat writers, many of whom would openly admit that they aren't the most tech-savvy people out there, would fumble with their mute buttons and occasionally say embarrassing things into hot mics, has quickly evaporated. The inability of beat writers to cultivate sources, develop relationships with members of the teams they cover and do their jobs in the way they've always done them has been a major negative of the pandemic. The best sports journalism, just like any journalism, brims with humanity and emotion, and Zoom interviews are the clinical, detached opposite of that.

In 2020, nary a hockey game in the bubble went by without a mention about how mentally and emotionally draining the process was, or how much player toughness and desire was on display. Both of those things are, of course, true. Playing sports in the bubble was incredibly tough, and hockey players are physically tough bordering on insane. But so are pretty much all other elite athletes, and basketball players had to deal with the bubble just like NHL'ers did. This is mainly a problem for die-hard hockey fans, who, owing to the sport's status as a distant fourth among the major four sports, nurse an inferiority complex that tends to result in them elevating hockey players to godlike status, particularly where toughness is concerned above all other athletes. Let's make 2021 the year this finally stops, okay?

Remember when line drives to the outfield were hits and not one-hop groundouts to a second-baseman playing 30 steps from the infield? Those were fun, weren't they? Spray charts have gotten more advanced, data collection is light-years ahead of where it was just ten to fifteen years ago, and as such, every team in baseball employs defensive shifts to cut down on hits - and it works! That's why Manny Machado, a third baseman, is standing in shallow right field in this picture. While the novelty was fun for a while, things are starting to get a touch ridiculous, with 2020 no exception, and the net effect is that baseball is more boring. If Rob Manfred cares about the sport (big "if") he'll find a way to put a stop to some of the most extreme variants, and soon.

We all know that the quest to sell merchandise is never-ending, and as long as there are willing buyers - and there always will be - there will be new gear. The NBA is unquestionably the most trend-forward of the four major sports leagues and realized that bountiful "City Edition" uniform selections would resonate well with fans who often cheer for players over specific teams, and whose loyalties shift. That said, having several of the league's most prominent squads playing in colors that are not at all part of their actual scheme is where I draw the line. Make all the cool uniforms you want, but don't have the Bucks wearing blue, for crying out loud.